White women are saying “Becky is a slur.”
Y’all wrong. It’s not a slur, but trust–I’m in your corner on this one, white women.
I hope and pray Becky does become a slur.
I hope it becomes so offensive we have to write it like B*cky.
And we can’t say it on TV, or in public, but we still whisper it when you walk past, hoping you hear it.
Fox News will host a debate about whether or not Becky is the worst slur ever, but no Beckys will be present during the segment.
You’ll wonder how you failed as a parent when your child gets caught calling another student *gasp* a Becky.
You’ll wear hats and wigs to cover your shameful Becky hair.
You’ll dye your hair black till you die so you’re never called a blonde Becky again.
You’ll spend hundreds of dollars on hair products to try and rid yourself of that Becky hair.
You’ll spend thousands on plastic surgery to get rid of that Becky face.
Folks will be smug and say you’re cute–for a Becky.
In 30 years feminist discourse will discuss their merits of reclaiming the word Becky.
But When you try to have a Becky only safe space, it will be interrupted constantly by non-Becky feminists who call you divisive for bringing your Becky bull**** to the table.
You’ll be called names because you’re ignoring Brad.
Entire movements will spring up in opposition to you.
But neither Brad nor non Becky feminists will truly have time to deal with your unique situation. You will, of course, still be required to consistently divide *your* time between non Beckys and brads tho! #solidarity
You’ll argue with your daughters when they listen to edgy pop music and call themselves Beckys.
You’ll walk down the street and men will scream Becky at you from car windows.
People will touch your hair without permission because they’ve never felt genuine Becky hair before.
People search you out on dating websites because they want a genuine mayo Becky sexual experience, and you should be flattered they considered you for their Becky experience.
People will ghost you after sex, because nobody wants to bring a Becky home to meet mom.
You’ll constantly wonder if you didn’t get hired because the interviewer thought you were just another Becky.
People will ignore your legitimate criticisms of racism and sexism because we all know how Beckys are whiners.
When a stranger grabs your butt on the subway, we’ll tell you you should be grateful anyone even wanted to touch a Becky.
People will put up “no Beckys” signs on their lawns.
You’ll be followed around stores because nobody trusts a Becky.
Police will harass you because stopping and frisking Beckys keeps the community safe.
You’ll be denied jobs and housing but be told the real problem is that Beckys don’t bootstrap well.
You’ll make less than a non-Becky, but be fired if you complain.
You’ll constantly be Called Becky because all Beckys look alike, and it’s too demanding to expect us to learn your names.
You’ll be called Becky because it’s an easy name, not like those weird Anglo names nobody wants to take time to pronounce. I mean really, why call you Genevieve when you’ve been told to answer to Becky??
Y’all wanna be oppressed so bad, and pretend you’re just as marginalized as Black women. You want to act like a Black woman calling you a Becky is just as bad as anti-Black racism? Or a woman of color is oppressing you by calling you a Becky on Twitter?
Fine. You want the oppression? Take ALL of it. Not just getting called out your name, but living in a world where the name put on you becomes the only understood version of you.
When one Becky steals, it’s proof all Beckys are thieves.
One Becky gets fired, it means all Beckys are lazy with no work ethic.
One Becky cheats on Brad, all Beckys are hyper sexual.
You want the Black woman treatment to prove you’re oppressed?
I’ll let you have it, so be careful what ya wish for, Becky.