“We, the Juggalos and Juggalettes of America, find the recent reports of creepy clown sightings troubling. And we want to make it clear that these are the actions of a few renegade ninjas, and in no way reflect the true meaning of getting down with the clown. We’ve been fighting negative media portrayals for decades, and stunts like these make that battle even harder. The majority of clowns are peaceful people who just want to get fucked up, drink Faygo, and have a theoretical interest in murder. We’re not a gang, we’re not a threat, we’re a family. We condemn the actions of these bozos, and ban them from all future gatherings. It’s time to stop the clown hunts, bury the hatchet, and ramp up the clown love. Whoop, whoop.”

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